OHHHH SHIIIIITTTTT WEEEEEE BAAAAAAAACK!!!
Constituents, this is not a drill! We are so mutha fuckin back with these picks you can’t even fathom how excited we are for the season!
After goin hard as hell in our inaugural season, winning at an overall win percentage of 54.7% across NCAAF, we were a HOT 17-11 thru the first five weeks and hope to continue the streak early in the season here. See below for our WiseGuys breakdowns and official picks:
Official Picks – OK, don’t hate us but we don’t have any. There was no complete consensus between our WiseGuys tonight (not even close) but we do have some leans and advice. See below based on research across 14 different sources:
Texas A&M vs Texas State +33 (I bought it to +35 and parlayed with BYU +7)
Oooooo buddy. If you read anything we put out last year, you know our guys loved to pick Texas State to cover big spreads and here we go again! The boys from San Marcos take the 2.5 hour drive east on a warm 105 degree evening to take the field against the Texas A&M Aggies. Will they be caught off guard by the weird ass fan base and goofy plight of oddballs in the stands? Yes. Will they be confused by the male cheerleaders and maybe even think a big, gay navy tanker just ported outside the stadium? Definitely. Will they be outmatched both physically, mentally and from the booth? Absolutely. But these guys don’t care! I expect A&M to run it up early and get their starters the hell out of harms way even faster. With Clemson on the horizon next week, I don’t expect the Aggies to show any cards and wayyyy less urgency to do anything more than squeak out a win here. Gimme the Bobcats backdoor cover. 5 of our WiseGuys picked the Bobcats to cover, 2 picked A&M.
Kent State @ ASU -24.5 – The Pick is UNDER 60 TOTAL
Ok, confession, I don’t know much about either of these teams. What do I know though? I know it’ll be 107 degrees at kickoff and that’s FORTY FUCKING DEGREES HOTTER than it is in Kent, OH today. I expect a ton of cramps and shitty football down the stretch. Kent State gets dominated, Herm pulls the starters early. This one falls below 60.5
Utah @ BYU +6 (I bought it to +7 and parlayed with Texas State +35)
Thank Joseph Smith football is back and what a way to set it off with the Holy War on opening night! Many of our Wiseguys are high on Utah, some picking them to win the PAC-12 (which isn’t saying much) but tonight they travel to BYU and are giving 6 points. That’s a lot for an away game rivalry. Our Wiseguys were split 5-4 on this one with 5 picking the Utes but I personally bought a point and parlayed it with the Bobcats from Texas State +35. Let’s see what happens
Georgia Tech @ Clemson -36 – The Pick is UNDER 60.5 TOTAL
This one is pretty simple – Clemson is going to beat the brakes off these nerds early, pull their starters, and Ga. Tech won’t be able to score. Under is the play.
While none of these are official picks, they are all picks that we are playing so use the information how you will and best of luck! Check back tomorrow for the full weekend slate and tell some your friends to read our shit too so we can quit our day jobs!
SECURE. THE. BAG.